Tenderness update and a bikini crisis

I'm liking the new blog style by the way, I got an email from Blogger the other day telling me that I could make my blog pretty if I wanted, so I gave it a shot and this is what I cam up with.

Latest update of Tenderness for Ben, he's just seen it for the first time in a while and said (albeit while sounding slightly surprised) 'that's starting to look really good', which is lucky really, seeing as I'm doing it for him.

Last Friday I got dragged into a photo session for the new brochures for the clinic, and one of the pictures that was done was something very like this (thankfully not by me, although that was threatened at one point), so I'm now trying to get this finished by the time that the new brochure comes out, not convinced that I'm going to manage it, but it's as good an ambition as any! And I did do loads of work on it on Monday night, I stubbornly got it into my head that I wanted to get the current page done so I wa stiching away frantically. Managed it, and I'm weird, I like how it looks when you've got the straight lines next to the block of solid stitching, but that'll get broken up soon, possibly even today.

In other news I'm very much looking forward to Easter next weekend, four day weekend, and even better, Ben's got a four day weekend as well, and that practically never happens. We've not got much planned, just looking forward to having some time off at the same time.

Talking of time off, we recently booked our summer holiday, a week in Bulgaria, which should be something a bit different, so of course, in a vague sort of way, the holiday preperations have begun, you know start layering on the moisturiser (and then the tinted moisturiser) so that I'm not the palest person there and no reflecting sun light with my pasty white legs. Also trying to find a new bikini, tried one on yesterday and can't remember the last time I felt so depressed about myself. I'm already pretty picky about what I wear, it's got to be shorts rather than briefs because the more of my bum and the top of thighs that is covered the better, and it's got to be a more solid halter neck top rather than a piece of string with two tiny triangles of material attached to it. I'm not saying I've got much bust to cover, but I'm fairly sure that two tiny scraps of material aren't going to do the job. Anyway, tried one on yesterday and it was wrong in pretty much every sense of the word. It was shorts, but they were wrong in so many ways, mainly in the way that they made me look as though I was trying on a size six instead of my size. The logical part of my brain says that I'm a size ten and so I can't be that big, my eyes say I looked like I'd just tried on a size six for giggles and I was hanging over the top of it, and it was quite hideous, I looked truly awful and it really has despressed me. So I'm now trying to find a way of looking less terrifying and depressing in a bikini, but the trouble is that gym memberships are very expensive and I don't earn enough to be doing things that are very expensive, so if anyone has any suggestions of cheap ways of looking less nasty in a bikini (please not jogging, far too public and just generally very unpleasant),l but all suggestions gratefully accepted.